feed the bitch! feed the bitch or she'll DIE!

I've stumbled onto the lj group longhair, and I'm entranced. I want to coddle the hair on my head like a pet. Red wine and lemon juice, cypress oil, tea tree oil, nettles and thyme. Apple cider vinegar. Wooden combs, boar bristle brushes. It's not about beauty, man. It's about being WITCHY AS SHIT.

My only worry is that the scalp-beast might grow even LONGER. It already tries to strangle me in my sleep on a regular basis. 'Spose I could break into the drying-peoples-feet-with-my-hair business. Locate a few messiahs. Up my chances of meeting a hot-ass Judas Iscariot wannabe.

the word "explode"

Ha! Bush's change of heart.

I'm unsure of the ethics of encouraging political satire in first-graders (then again, can it be any worse than the Pledge of Allegiance?), but the impersonator readings are PRICELESS.