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i love my dead gay son!
Feb. 13th, 2004 09:59 amYesterday, I got a Valentine's Day card from my darling mommikins. On the front is a sporting 1940's lass with rather broad shoulders aiming a bow and arrow. The word bubble above her head reads, "Forget Cupid...I'll get my own man." On the inside, my mum has written, "Aim High! And don't settle for anything less than a Bull's Eye!"
*facepalm*
Is it just me, or is this the ultimate "I'm afraid my daughter is a big old lesbo, and I pray daily that she gets over this phase, even though I'm in such deep denial about it that I can't admit my fears to her or even myself, most days"? Maybe I'm reading into it a little bit, and I am honestly amused (mostly because of the Artemis synchronicities, heehee, of an archery-lass - and on a V-day card, no less), but...oy. My mom's been worried about my sexuality since before I knew what a lesbian WAS. She refuses to admit it to me, heh, but my sister has had conversations with my mom about my hypothetical gayness, and I definitely trust my sister over my mom in this.
The whole thing is just frustrating as hell. I can't actually talk to her about it, because she refuses to admit she worries. She's not equipped to get over it - she's one of the hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner types when it comes to homosexuality. NeverMIND that she'd never believe me when I told her, no, I'm NOT gay. Because that'd be me in denial, of course, or lying to her. I'm not fucking the boys OR the girls, Mum. Really. I've definitely got bisexual tendencies, but boys are still the primary direction my eye strays in - and it's not like any of it really matters much ANYway. What gender I'm attracted to is the LEAST of my oddities.
Maybe I should shack up with a girl just to get all this shit out in the open. Blarrrrr.
In other news, Brandi, you were in my dream last night. You were making beautiful little collages on textured pieces of onion-skinny origami paper, with gold dust and watercolors and inks and things, most of them of houses. Very lovely. You have mad skills in the dream-art of tiny house making.
ETA: Ha! Brandi! Maybe you're supposed to set me up. With the houses and the shacking up and all. Find me a hottie Toledo chick for parental clarifying!
*facepalm*
Is it just me, or is this the ultimate "I'm afraid my daughter is a big old lesbo, and I pray daily that she gets over this phase, even though I'm in such deep denial about it that I can't admit my fears to her or even myself, most days"? Maybe I'm reading into it a little bit, and I am honestly amused (mostly because of the Artemis synchronicities, heehee, of an archery-lass - and on a V-day card, no less), but...oy. My mom's been worried about my sexuality since before I knew what a lesbian WAS. She refuses to admit it to me, heh, but my sister has had conversations with my mom about my hypothetical gayness, and I definitely trust my sister over my mom in this.
The whole thing is just frustrating as hell. I can't actually talk to her about it, because she refuses to admit she worries. She's not equipped to get over it - she's one of the hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner types when it comes to homosexuality. NeverMIND that she'd never believe me when I told her, no, I'm NOT gay. Because that'd be me in denial, of course, or lying to her. I'm not fucking the boys OR the girls, Mum. Really. I've definitely got bisexual tendencies, but boys are still the primary direction my eye strays in - and it's not like any of it really matters much ANYway. What gender I'm attracted to is the LEAST of my oddities.
Maybe I should shack up with a girl just to get all this shit out in the open. Blarrrrr.
In other news, Brandi, you were in my dream last night. You were making beautiful little collages on textured pieces of onion-skinny origami paper, with gold dust and watercolors and inks and things, most of them of houses. Very lovely. You have mad skills in the dream-art of tiny house making.
ETA: Ha! Brandi! Maybe you're supposed to set me up. With the houses and the shacking up and all. Find me a hottie Toledo chick for parental clarifying!
